Death Threats

WE kNoW WhO YOU aRe. WE ArE GoInG To kILL yOU! — Linux Kernel Team

I’m at a loss for words. You’re an asshole. Why are you rubbing this Ubuntu/Dell sham in my face? Dell tricked me! Its not my fault! I’m the victim here! — Mark S***********

I will lure you in, I will seduce you with my tongue, and through sodomy, I will show you the face of God. We can talk about this site afterwards. — RM$

Please. Please. Please. Make it go away. It hurts. Make it stop. — *inus

Threats

48 Responses to “Death Threats”

  1. patty Says:
    January 8th, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    Oh my god. What the hell? You have no right to type some retarded crap and slap the names of those hallowed names on them. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.

  2. admin Says:
    January 8th, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    This is the internet, patty; your rights don’t exist here.

  3. Mr Dribledick Says:
    January 8th, 2008 at 11:47 pm

    It looks like this is a website setup for fun to see who will bite!
    Windows, Linux or Mac who really cares as long as I can look at my porn sites, I,ll use anything. OH! YEA! I heard someone’s building a very special Linux version call “PORNLINUX” which includes over a 1000 default porn links in the Web Browser which is based on the Flock Web Browser and goes by the name “FireFlockFuck” Web Browser.

  4. painteru Says:
    June 21st, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Well, I read this joke site and I guess that the admin wanted some time ago to use Ubuntu …The most user-friendly Linux OS , well… others will say that other distros are … :) anyway , that fact is that Ubuntu is easy to use .
    So, this site admin was so dumb that he cant use even this easy linux disto as Ubuntu is . That make me ask myself if he can use at least Windows !
    I’d bet that his IExplorer ( because I think he/she hate Firefox or Opera ) is full of yahoo bar , google bar , shit bar , wtf bar …

  5. satan21 Says:
    June 22nd, 2008 at 4:18 am

    If you did not have the pacience to use ubuntu for at least 3-4 days,and notice that it has lots of support,a large community that is always willing to help,lots of free programs etc. it doesen’t mean it’s unusable.I use linux for about 6 years and do not have a single complaint about it,it is more ‘green’ than windows about power consumption and the security updates don’t mess up your sistem as in windows and also let’s not forget the resources/performance ratio that shows clear the fact that you can get at least the same performance from a linux system at half of resources that vista uses just to run :) you can try darkstar linux it’s very user friendly,just as windows user like,lots of GUI’s,eyecandy, and incredibly fast comparative to windows

  6. Majic Says:
    June 25th, 2008 at 12:29 am

    This is phenomenally funny.
    |
    |
    `–> Obvious troll is obvious, kthx.

  7. Brain Says:
    June 25th, 2008 at 5:57 am

    haha very funny, but i can see why you censored out those names. You don’t want people sueing you for your joke eh :)

  8. he,he Says:
    July 5th, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    and jet you need linux to publish this site ?

  9. fart Says:
    July 8th, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    O_o ???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
    F U C K I N G F U N N Y!!!

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

  10. jamooooo Says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 2:08 am

    wtf, that gun is so fucking funny!

  11. someone//- Says:
    July 10th, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    Hey admin !! have u ever checked u website & still running it??

  12. Luke Skywalker Says:
    July 10th, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    Oh… And the server your site is on got linux… You, sir, suck.

  13. The Linux admin Says:
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:09 am

    I love this site man!.
    A good time pass. It relives me from stress :)
    Keep going….by the way I’m a RHCE.

    Bye
    Linux Admin. (The super Boss).

  14. lolol Says:
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:41 pm

    i dont know how the majority of people posting comments can get so offended, stfu nubz

  15. nmn Says:
    July 12th, 2008 at 3:44 am

    It’s unbelievable. The majority of people did not get that the entire website is just a joke. No really, it’s a parody. Now laugh. What are you stupid?

  16. Rupert Says:
    July 12th, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    This is actually quite scary, the amount of Linux users who don’t know that this site is a joke. What does that say? Maybe I need to think about moving to a Mac. What do you say Admin? Surly Macs aren’t evil are they?

  17. Rupert Says:
    July 14th, 2008 at 11:49 am

    alert(”…!”);

  18. Roopert Says:
    July 14th, 2008 at 11:50 am

    alert(”lol”);
    abab

  19. Ishkur Says:
    July 15th, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    Hey, Admin..
    update your shit. Wp 2.6 is out.. your site is vulnnnnn :x :x :x :x

  20. ../index.php Says:
    July 16th, 2008 at 3:13 am

    lol

  21. snivlem Says:
    July 21st, 2008 at 11:15 am

    boobs.

  22. Awesum Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    Fuck Linux fucking fuck that fuck with a fucking fuckstick fuckitty fucknuggits

  23. Windows Rapee Says:
    July 25th, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    Whisters: “…I see “special” people!”

  24. Stephen Says:
    July 27th, 2008 at 12:57 am

    people just can’t take a joke

  25. admin-fake Says:
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:57 am

    I brake down I am a loser I can’t stop crying with what I have done. I just can’t stop attention seeking.

    I love Linux; linux rules.

  26. P13808 Says:
    August 3rd, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    You are impersonating people, which is very likely a violation of TOS with your server! I’ll be reporting you now.

  27. admin Says:
    August 7th, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Hi I’m the admin, I wish to apologize for my irrational behavior against Linux. I actually looove Linux. Linux bloody rocks. It soooooo rocks. Some fan boys just paid me to do this. I actually use Linux at home. I loove it so much I type Linux with a capital L.

  28. donteatthefish Says:
    August 16th, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    haha awesome. nice trolling, i laughed so much.

  29. donteatthefish Says:
    August 16th, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    and to that “admin” yeah Linux is case sensitive so it is a good choice for you to use the capital L, but yeah no one believes you’re the admin

  30. admin Says:
    August 19th, 2008 at 9:01 am

    From http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?p=5619990

    “There is a significant segment of society that would be entirely incapable of discerning this from a “real”, factual, and serious site. The creators and maintainers of this site are playing [Russian Roulette] with [some] peoples minds here, and I find that unacceptable. And should some poor person of marginal intelligence, or mental ability, take some unfortunate action, based on believing all or any part of the contents of this site, I would hope the law would hold the creators and maintainers of the site fully accountable.

    In addition, I am personally offended, simply by the fact that the rhetoric of the content is entirely too reminiscent (for my liking) to the rhetoric exercised by groups such as the KKK, the Arian Brotherhood, etc. Bad taste. Bad judgment. Bad humor. No socially redeming value. This site, and all those like it, should be dismantled immediately–tomorrow, or tonight (all that has to be done is to pull the plug, or throw the breaker, and they’re gone). And for any that persist, I hope that when (and I do mean when and not if) some unfortunate event results from someone taking the site seriously, I hope the courts hit the operators of the site with the full force of the law. Depending on the magnitude of the “event” that will eventually result, I wouldn’t even rule out prison time for those responsible for the content of such sites.

    Too many people in the modern World are sitting “on the edge”, to subject them to something so apparently real, with such a strong message.”

  31. Richard Stallman Says:
    August 24th, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    its actually GNU with a Linux kernel. or at least GNU/Linux

  32. Robert Kali Says:
    August 25th, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    This site is great. I use Linux exclusively on all of my personal computers (and all but one of my work computers), and if some stuck up people don’t see the humour in this site, and get all pissy over it, well, suck it up. Linux is not the best thing since sliced bread, and it’s not the fourth coming of the great prophet Zarquon. It’s an operating system. Just like Windows, and OS X and many other operating systems. Each have their positive points, and their negative points, and all of them have their own groups of radical fanatics. If you’re offended by this site, get over it, stop whining and go do something useful, like testing the latest alpha version of Ubuntu, or building a Linux-From-Scratch system for fun. Cheers.

  33. p13808 Says:
    August 25th, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    Linux-from-scratch is great. Finally a way for us non-billionaires to get some knowlegde of os-building.

  34. Good Joke Says:
    August 31st, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    My my, some people need to calm down!

  35. Sum Yung Gai Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    NO, NO, NO! Stallman will NOT seduce you with his tongue! He’ll actually perform rhinophytonecrophilia (nasal sex with flowers) on you! Ooo…kinky….

    http://www.stallman.org/articles/texas.html

    I also read elsewhere on this wonderful site about our brothers in Nam who sacrificed their lives due to this subversive, pinko-commie Linux thing. We will–we *must*–avenge our noble brethren. The Stallmanists can not be allowed to take over this country with their dangerous ideas against the state.

    Yes, this site has finally convinced me! The Microsoft Way…is indeed the One True Way. I shall repent, by dealing with all Linux computers in ways that would make the Spanish Inquisition proud!

    I hereby renounce whatever positive things I once sed(1) about this blasphemous, thoroughly evil, subversive–nay, TERRORIST–pretender of an operating system. My army of MCSE’s will stick a fork(2) in Linux and bash(1) its very brains against the very rocks in the C. Fsck(8) Linux! Long Live Microsoft! Long Live Bill! Long Live Steve! LONG…LIVE…AMERICA!!!!!!

    –SYG

  36. private Says:
    September 4th, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    I would post my death threat here, but since I’m sending this on a Windows computer I won’t because the government or bill is probably tracking everything I do. Also I’m afraid if I anger all the linux geeks they will probably trace this to my computer and hack my windows machine, access all my bank accounts, and post all my personal information online.

  37. Anonymous Says:
    September 8th, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    >This is the internet, patty; your rights don’t exist here.

    Actually, wherever the website’s server is located, is where the rights of said server fall, therefore, if it’s in America, assuming it is based upon your praise, then, using peoples names for quotes without their consent is illegal.

  38. admin Says:
    September 8th, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    Actually, this server is using a multi-geo-distributed cloud computing service on anycast IPs provided by *********. It exists outside the realm of your control.

  39. retard Says:
    October 15th, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    This is sooooo funny!!!! … I love it :-)

  40. Billy Says:
    October 24th, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    I am already dead after using windows!!! …. Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

  41. admin Says:
    October 24th, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    I am already dead after using windows!!! …. Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    Yeah people actually die after using MS products. They just stop living…

  42. admin Says:
    October 24th, 2008 at 4:28 pm

    :-) :-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-)

  43. Bruce Willis Says:
    January 11th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    I’m pretty sure that killing you is a good thing for the environment.

  44. William Wallace Says:
    January 22nd, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom

  45. linuxisevolution Says:
    April 3rd, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    why do my comments keep getting deleted?

    At least be fair, mighty admin…

    -_-

  46. MSPolice Says:
    January 20th, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Your site is illegal. Please use the MS logo at least 50 times on each page and provide a link to our knowledgebase on every page. Indicate clearly how you love MS, how our products are perfect, and how it is impossible to even surf the web with anything other than Windows, let alone do any real work. Please delete any claims to the contrary on your site. You must change your domain name to ILoveAnythingMS.com. Please send us 5,000,000,000 in cash to cover licensing fees for all the times you mention MS on your website. If you do not meet these obligations we will send you a Gentoo minimal install CD.

  47. anonymous Says:
    August 30th, 2011 at 2:48 am

    Ugh, stupid Micro$oft. You own well over 90% of the market share for computers, and you’re still complaining?!

  48. bill_gates Says:
    August 30th, 2011 at 7:36 am

    You shouldn’t take a joke this far. People might actually take you seriously.