FAQ

Are you crazy?

Crazy is as crazy does.

Some might think you have gone too far?

We think we haven’t gone far enough.

Is this a joke/parody?

Either, or, maybe, neither…

We are however eminent that Linux, if used for more than 24 cumulative hours, will sap and impurify all of your precious bodily fluids.

Is this some type of a sick payback for www.ie7.com?

No comment.

Your methods of "promoting" Linux are questionable, please explain yourself.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Our green could be your red. We associate the same word for the color we see, but our minds interpret it in different ways. Hope that clears it up for you.

You can get killed for this!

You can get killed walking your doggy!

It is true that Linux fanboys are crazy like a fox. The Ubuntu crowd is downright rabid. Linux attracts the worst of what society produces.

We live in fear for our lives every day, but at the same time we also feel that the sacrifice is worth it. As Jesus brought you Salvation, we bring Linux users Redemption. We will sacrifice our freedom to give you the choice of choosing Windows.

Isn’t it wrong to host a Linux hate site on an exclusive Linux VPS provider? How do you justify this?

It’s about as wrong as a Saturday afternoon hog roast in a synagogue. But we do it anyways.

I am a Linux user. How can I defect from the dark side into the light?

You’ve taken the first step to becoming a productive member of society. You will have to separate yourself from the negative elements in your life and keep away from other Linux users. They are easy to spot by the smell of all the baths they have not taken.

Other things to look for:

  • raccoon eyes from brain trauma
  • crusted over semen stains from chronic masturbation
  • weird spots on skin
  • no social skills

You’re a fucking superstar! I get it. What can I do to help?

You can help by contributing your content to this site. If you have something to add, say, share, or just rant, leave a comment on the relevant page [or on the contact page]. If it’s good, we’ll integrate it within the right page/post on the site. If it’s _really_ good, we’ll create a new page for it.

We lift weights and build muscle, if you mess with us, you’ll get The Dolph™…

FAQ

34 Responses to “FAQ”

  1. TANK Says:

    While I found this site very funny to read. I am maybe a bit perplexed to its linux promotion.

    But it reminds me of the “low fares” flight company “RYANAIR”. That fellow get up the nostrils of every decent folk. Wheather he is charging customers for the use of wheelchairs or suing airport authorities. RYANAIR is ALWAYS in the news. It may be a bad way of publicity but its one of the most profitable airlines…

    Good one Bill…I knew youd come round when you hand things over to egghead!

  2. jane dole Says:

    Microsoft? are they referring to Bill Gates Penis? is it micro? is it soft? A question only his wife can answer I guess?

  3. kalavalter Says:

    Linux powers most of the internet.

    Sure, it’s not a great desktop platform but it’s good for running websites and shit like that.

    … if you were trying to wind people up then it worked on me!

  4. spidy Says:

    @jane dole:

    C’mon thats too bad to say. Don’t include his wife here. She’s got nothing to do with this.

  5. Joel Says:

    Please post this:

    http://ubuntulinuxtipstricks.blogspot.com/2008/03/ubuntu-beats-osx-and-vista-in-pwn-2-own.html

  6. ... Says:

    Great site, Nice to see it running on Linux, and using free software like WordPress.

  7. Mike Says:

    I think the most priceless thing about this site is the quality of the bites it is getting.

  8. FC Says:

    I have a few questions. Why did you have Ubuntu CD’s lying around for someone to not steal if you never intended to install them? You had them lying around and it never even crossed your mind to install them until your Windows CD was gone. Also, there’s no reason to steal a software cd that you don’t have a clue what it is. So if they knew what it was, why would they risk prison time to steal something that they can freely obtain?

    Come up with a better story.

  9. fart Says:

    And all this shit for a good traffic? I admire your effort, but please, don’t you think you’d have to make up your story a little bit more credible? I mean, I don’t know whether you know exactly what you’re doing… Or are you a certified Troll?

  10. nmn Says:

    People posting on these comment pages: Please. Please tell me you know this is a joke… Please.

  11. RickRoller Says:

    Linux does not power the Internet. The application known as Apache, which will run on many different operating systems including Windows, is what runs a majority of websites. Even the choice to use Linux as a server OS is falling each year.

  12. Winni Says:

    This site is running on CentOS (a linux distro based on RPM) and apache.

  13. Dave Says:

    The only reason this site is running on anything except genuine micro$oft windows server software is probably because the windows server that was powering this site was hacked by some script kiddie using GNU/Linux so he could set up a porn-torrent tracker for all his buddies. Those godless, heathen, GNU/Linux users.

  14. Windows Rapee Says:

    “We are however eminent that Linux, if used for more than 24 cumulative hours, will sap and impurify all of your precious bodily fluids.”

    A little education can be a dangerous thing, eh?

    Improper use of the word “eminent”; no such word as “impurify”.

  15. admin Says:

    “Improper use of the word eminent…”

    It should be ‘imminent’ but you have to dumb things down quite a bit when dealing with the Linux crowd. “The” becomes “teh”, and so on.

    After further consideration, it was also decided that the definition of eminent as ‘prominent’ could hold the meaning of the sentence.

    “…no such word as impurify.”

    Correct. My Microsft Office Word caught this one too, but I decided to keep it as-is. Anything else just would not hold the same flow.

  16. Admin-fake Says:

    I am ADMIN & i Am a gay!!

  17. Clod Says:

    I have been crying tears of genuine joy ever since I found this site. It is truly the answer to my prayers.

    I used to be into open-source, Linux, and Unix. I used to (gasp) run programs and such from the command line.

    Then, I discovered the goodness and sweetness that is all things Microsoft (and drag-and-drop).

    Now, I have managed to purge all cancerous open-source (sores? heehee) pollution from my company intranet. I have even managed to convince our CTO to make an edict stating that nothing but Microsoft applications can run on our servers!

    Buwahahahahaha!

    Now, we have reached nirvana. All is right with the world. And the licensing fees that we have paid Microsoft for all of this are a bargain, considering the reliability, security, and all-around customer satisfaction that we have gained in return.

    Again, THAK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for this site!!

  18. Linux scared user Says:

    Accidentally I installed PCLinuxOS. When I discoverd my horrible mistake it was too late. I uninstalled and reinstalled that glorious XP. A day later a van pulled up near the house. 3 men jumped out and left notes that I was to reinstall Linux or else….
    They follow me close and I am sure they have spycams installed in the house. The police won´t take me seriously. Matbe they are part of the Linux terrorist squad too. I´m thinking about emigrating, but I don´t know if they will find out. Maybe they can also see me reading this wesite. I´m so scared. Is there help for me?
    I wish of all this could go away….

  19. Zombie Bot Says:

    This website has been founded by spammers and bot-herders (for DDoS attack purposes). It needs Windows machines and Windows users to propagate their bots, and is thereby promoting Windows to extend the longevity of their zombie bots.

    I am zombie bot runner #90210 and I hail from Beverly Hills. I help rule over all the slave zombie bots running in Windows machines. *wicked evil robot laughter*

  20. admin Says:

    I have fixed my ways. I will leave this site as-is, but I have converted to good linux.

  21. DRINKORDIE Says:

    you should be killed by a train…. look at your server dumbass… look at the software u use… look at the real world dude …
    fucking crazy dude … u deserve slaps in your fucking face !
    go read dude go read some tests benchmarks …
    You will win the microsucks olympics gold medal to be a such asshole!

  22. joe Says:

    hey calm up, the story is great, very funny, im sure this guy is just happy for havinng lots of monthly visits just for putting fake funny info.

    haha and i love that microsoft thisn of the is it micro? is it soft? haha bill gates pennis is weird

  23. Linus Torvalds Says:

    This is Linus again.

    I just wiped my ass, and I am back. The world is running on a practical joke I played in colege. The world it truely inhabitated my MORONS.

    Remember these words. It is almost impossible to underestimate the stupidity of people.

    Now, all you Microsoft fresh guys. I want you all to com over my house so I can spank some sense into you all.

    torvalds@osdl.org

    P.S. I just got off the phone with Russia and Japan. They are also pissed at you fresh Microsoft guys. Our own president keeps telling me to Fuck off and stop interupting his blow session. What is blow?

  24. Linux User Says:

    “Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics…Even if you win, you’re still retarded.”
    – original author unknown (at least to me or I would give credit)

    To the posters — Crude language and violent responses to a website that you disagree with will not have the desired result.

    To the admin — Very funny reading, thank you.

  25. Bruce Willis Says:

    I have another question for you:

    Did your father hit you when you were a child? No? I’m sure he did!

  26. baker Says:

    Sap and impurify your precious bodily fluids?

    That has to be straight out of the mouth of the crazy general from Dr. Strangelove! Brilliant!

    But you know man, what you really have to watch out for is fluoridation.

  27. Hilariousitynessation Says:

    Its funny that you run this site on a linux server. Irony?

  28. DARX Says:

    FUCK YEAH SISTA
    WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE

    Linux is poison,
    Beer is poison,
    Beer is also good,

    point proven

  29. Adam Says:

    “We think we haven’t gone far enough.”

    Neither do we.

    By next week you will have no house, underwear, or deoderant.

  30. lol Says:

    Guys, sorry to state the obvious, but to the retards:

    THIS IS SATIRICAL.

    The owner of this website likes Linux, and is parodying the arguments Microsoft fanboys have against open source alternatives.

    I personally use them both.

    And I’m 14 btw, lol.

  31. MyPenisSmells Says:

    Linux made my Penis grow, the more I use Linux the bigger it gets. Fantastic!! I’m so excited I went down on my Motherboard an it loved it!

  32. Myfraudsoft Says:

    For many years, I too was a Linus looser. But after my Lunix addiction drove me to a complete madness I accidentally stumbled across this site and it opened my eyes. THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE! I am now on a rehabilitation program aided by a free Microsoft laptop and cocaine. However, I still have a long way to go before my soul heals completely. Many nights I wake up in cold sweat from nightmares about 3D compiz effects, virus-free computing and many other horrors of Linus. But then I turn on my Vista 7 Ultimate laptop, fire up Firef…err IE8 and visit your site to give me hope and a cause to live for.

  33. Riaan François Venter Says:

    linux is king. no jokes here.

  34. Xunderground Says:

    I hate to feed trolls, but the homeless deserve a little TLC, now don’t they?

    st source c
    I WAS using Windows 7 ultimate X64 on my last computer. I started having issues with drivers, then codecs, then Bill Gates started asking for money, then…..well, the list goes on!

    Then, I found Linux!

    Linux has its downsides (You must compile most source code, and that causes XML errors, and unsatisfied dependencies) BUT, It is technologically superior! How? I will explain:

    My current PC is an old laptop, a Gateway CX2610, with an intel 915GMA graphics controller…..with windows, I got NO 3D ACCELERATION, AND NO AERO! With Linux…Full visual effects, full openGL support, and 3D gaming every day! HELL YEAH!!! All this, for free!